The Cost of Over-Optimisation

“You lose more life trying to optimise everything than just living it. The stress of trying to be perfect is killing you more quickly than your imperfections.” - Alex Hormozi

Too much self-help might not be that… helpful.

Self-improvement in a silo forgets that the world’s made of other people. It becomes performative rather than performance-enhancing.

We are the tree falling in the forest.

So many of us are on the treadmill of self-improvement and optimisation, but what are we actually doing it for? To show up as a better person, or to be seen as one?

Psychologist Svend Brinkmann states a simple remedy for anyone too self-involved with self-development: “go into the world instead of staring into yourself.”

Either Or

There’s a fine line between a growth mindset and despair. Telling ourselves that we’re not good enough, or that we alone are the only ones who can fix our circumstances, can either fuel hope or deepen sorrow, depending on perspective.

The desire to optimise our behaviours and lifestyles is a brilliant trait to have. That said, it can easily mutate into overoptimisation if left unchecked. We assume the busiest people who tick the most wholesome boxes are living their “best life.” 

But sometimes less is more.

If our routine is entirely someone else’s and our ideas are internalised lines from other people… where are you in all of this?

We’re all ships of Theseus, constantly remaking ourselves.

But unlike the myth, we are both the builder and the vessel. The ultimate goal for any ship is for it to sail. That is to say, an objectively brilliant routine means nothing if it doesn’t lead to a pleasant life.

Improving oneself in a vacuum avoids the point of the practice: to live well.

High performers need to work on themselves, of course. They also need to be themselves. 

There’s nothing inherently valuable in waking up at 4AM. Idealised routines and behaviours trickle down through algorithms and influence us to make us feel inferior in the way we live. Ultimately, we need to find what works for us. And we need to make sure we aren’t always working–to carve out time where we can just be as well as try to be better.

Doing > Thinking

You’re not off the hook though.

We asked a few weeks back when you were last wrong.

Today we’ll ask: when did you last take a risk? More pertinently… When did you last feel alive?

We can read a thousand books, listen to a millennium of podcasts and plot. But the ratio of thinking to doing needs to increase. High performers talk themselves out of brilliance, experience and possibilities by overthinking, dwelling on missing information or stymying progress in pursuit of certainty.

Self-sabotage of the highest order, masked as growth.

At a certain point, trying to perfectly manage anxiety only creates more anxiety.
Obsessing over vulnerability makes us more guarded.
Fixating on self-awareness turns us self-absorbed.

Personal growth isn’t basketball or chess. In those disciplines, effort scales with improvement.

In real life, once we’re good enough, less effort often brings more return.

Break the Loop

Consuming performance ideas means nothing if we never act.

Much of the “self-help” industry is a snake eating its tail; a podcaster referencing a guest referencing a book from ten years ago.

Optimise, of course! Reflect. Improve. But don’t lose sight of the purpose of these endeavours.

No sentence or soundbite will unleash more discipline, time or willpower. Too much focus spent mulling over improvement only detracts from the time available to enact the advice.

Real change begins with self-acceptance. Especially the bad bits.

Stop staring into yourself. Go into the world.